Friday, November 27, 2009

Things Overheard at an Art Opening


"He raised an interesting question about man's relationship to a vulnerable naked woman."

"What do you think he was trying to say with that one that I accidentally fell through and is going to cost me a quarter of a million dollars?"

"Did you notice that when he mentioned Leonardo DaVinci he made a jerking off motion with his hand?"

"I like the way he told me to leave the premises and kicked me out of the building.  Just a sec... Hold the exit door open please!  There, back in."

"Why did he call this one "Angel" when it is clearly a sculpture of a Demon?  I feel like I should call the police."

"I touched that one to see what it's made of and it's actually a security guard."

"Was the guy who was screaming about us not "getting it" and who tore off all his clothes and shot himself in the face the same guy who made this paper mache picnic?"

"I told you I knew it was a mirror.  Of course I know what I look like!  Drop it."

"Is that my ex-husband over there?  Funny, he never liked art when we were married, but I guess that little whore he's with likes the stuff.  HEY JASON!  NICE HEAD!  Let's hightail it out of here."

"Was that stuff written about me in the bathroom stall part of the show?  Did you see it when you went in there right before me?"

"Okay, you distract everybody then I'll grab it and run.  What do you mean it's only a sculpture of a charity donation box to send terminally ill kids to camp?"

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