Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Bad Driving Maneuvers

Have you ever found yourself in outer space in your car?  Believe it or not, you are a bad driver then.  Here are other sure fire ways to tell if you are the driving equivalent of an idiot.  

- U-Turning when it's not you turn.

- Driving a Me Crazy on a road designated for cars and trucks.

- Slamming on the brakes while transporting wobbly ice cream cones.

- Pretending your car is a turd.

- Only driving North.

- Mistaking the Sun for an all day amber light.

- Following a bee.  Into the hive.  Becoming a drone.  

- Honking exclusively when you're horny

- Signaling only when you think it's "cool" to do so.

- Trying to make crossing guards laugh by nudging kids into the middle of the intersection with your SUV.

- Trying to even out that flat wheel by putting a drink coaster under it.  

- Humorously filling your gas tank with Jolt Cola just so when somebody points it out to you you can say "D'oh" in a Homer Simpson voice.

- Spray painting the word "Faggot" on the side of your car because for some reason you think vandalism is a tax write off.  

- When getting a speeding ticket you dump a can of beans out the driver's window so when the police officer walks up to your window you can say "Okay, who spilled the beans that I was speeding?" or "Lick up that slop, piggy."