Friday, December 18, 2009

Christmas Wishes


Every year around Christmas I suddenly start calling my regular wishes "Christmas Wishes" and I assign a higher cash value to them because I love the smell of money.  Here is a list of my Christmas Wishes:


I wish my real parents were Amazon.com and ebay.

I wish I never have to perform CPR on an old gross dog.

I wish that nobody ever walks in on me while I'm changing.

I wish for ten more wishes.

I wish that people can't read my thoughts.  I really hope they can't.

I wish that time is linear so that when I die I don't have to do everything again backwards.  Especially the bathroom stuff.  

I wish my neighbor would knock it off!!!

I wish the variety store was next to my house.

I wish a chocolate bar right now.

I wish... wait... my neighbor knocked it off.  About time.

I wish all my friends from grade six didn't hate me from then on.

I wish I was born a long time ago so I could kill a redhead and not be frowned upon like what happened to a guy I'm in contact with over the internet.  

I wish I had my old rave clothes still.  Say what you will about how they look, but a guy I sort of knew from school borrowed them off me and O.D.'d in them so they're kind of special.

I wish what happened in Vegas had not followed me home from Vegas in his car.

4 comments:

  1. It is Xmas Eve and Richie Wealthy, the concern's richest kid, is all agog to pass the day with his friends. christmas greetings wishes Time racing wildly with his friends in the author, Richie's caretaker, Cadbury, controls the cars using a remote and guides the children sanction to Richie's domiciliate.

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  2. Ha ha ha, I love your first wish and I think I'm gonna wish that too. Christmas is really a time for making wish, but you can also convey some "simple" wishes through Christmas messages for your friends who are willing to grant them. Best wishes to your buddy!

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